It's fashion week. Arg.

Fashion week starts Friday, Feb 1, which means I'll be tearing my hair out and stuff. Stay tuned.

TLC

TLC is the best channel in the world. First Miss America, then a marathon of the Kleinfeld wedding dress store reality show, then a special documentary about a man who's half man, half TREE, and now a documentary about a 13-year old, 2 foot 9, 17 pound primordial dwarf.

Best Channel Ever.


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Some freak

Some freak in my building came by at 11 last night and about ten minutes ago. He-she stuck a piece of paper under my door, shook it around for a few seconds, and withdrew it. Then he-she goes away. No paper left behind.

So if anything happens to me, best bet is to look for the underdoor-paper-shaking freak.


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27 Dresses

Cannot believe that I am lining up for seats an hour before 27 Dresses. Never seen anything like this before. Except for, like, Batman in 1989...


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Gary says.

Me: Oh look, a street fair.

Gary: It's just some fruit and meat.


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Piggles

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Donkles

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Ranch beauty

Shave; $0.75

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At the ranch

Like the Colonial Williamsburg of the Hualapi tribe.


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They used to vacuum up bat poop and haul it across the canyon with this thing.

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Don't fall over the edge of the Grand Canyon

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Rest stop, Arizona

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Paris, Las Vegas

I am beginning to have Vegas fatigue. Can't wait for the Grand Canyon tomorrow. Dying to see something real.


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Paris, Las Vegas

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Monte Carlo, Las Vegas

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Year of the mouse

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The Bellagio says Happy New Year!

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Even the Cheesecake Factory gets a fountain at Caesers Palace.

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In Vegas there's a Louis on every corner.

Vuitton, the Gap of Vegas.


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Donde Gucci?

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Circular escalators at Caesers Palace

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Piracy of a different kind

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"I would like to be remembered as a kind and gentle soul, and as someone who made the world a little better place to live in because I had lived in it."
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Like Karl

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Isn't it ironic

That for a man who's best known for the work he did with his fingers, curators have chosen to exhibit his clothing on mitten-handed mannequins.


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Star spangled

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Volkswagon Rolls

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Love

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Kimora's got nothing on Liberace

Rhinestone Duesenberg Roadster customized to match the Ice Blue costume and rhinestone baldwin grand piano for Liberace's 1986 Radio City performance.


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I, too, would like a Rolls Royce covered in mirrors.

They don't pimp cars like Liberace did anymore.


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Liberace's vanity piano

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I've noticed

I've noticed that lots of people from other parts of the country don't cover their mouths when they cough.


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What would Martin say?

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What would Nicolas say?

Check out the Balenciaga display at the brabd spanky new Barneys Las Vegas.


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Our hotel

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Water in the desert

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More outdoors indoors at the Venetian

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Outdoors indoors at the Venetian

Remember "A Night at the Roxy"?
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Wonton peanut nachos.

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The View

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There are slot machines in the Vegas airport.

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Do you think it's weird that

Do you think it's weird that Cashmere Mafia is sponsored by the Herpes medication Valtrex??

Wiki Bush

WIKI BUSH

For a while this afternoon this is what George W. Bush's Wikipedia entry looked like (above).

If you can't make it out, it says "George (Dick Face) Bush" is the "43rd McDonalds" and it calls the VP "Sg. Dick 'Dick Monster' Cheyney [sic].'"

My So-Called Life

"I feel so stupid, my entire relationship with Jordan Catalano, every minute of it just completely sucked and now it's over."

(It's like nothing ever changes from the time you're 15.)

Best scene ever

More MSCL

"There's something about Sunday night that really makes you want to kill yourself especially if you've totally been made a fool of by the only person you'll ever love and you have a geometry midterm on monday which you haven't even studied for."

My So-Called Life

I've been working my way through the box set of My So Called Life -- my favorite television show when I was a teenager (and, I guess, by default, one of my favorites of all time because I can't really think of any favorite tv shows I've had since teenagerhood besides League of Gentlemen, Little Britain, and other sketch comedy shows).

It's just as good and probably even more emotionally compelling to watch it now, as an adult. And the clothes, oh my god, the clothes are amazing. Wooden-soled cherry-red brass-eyelet boots; plaid shirts worn as jackets over everything, boxer shorts over leggings, layers upon layers of lumberjack clothing and big woolly socks.

I wonder what teenagers these days -- raised on Laguna Beach and the OC -- think when they watch this? How does unspoken, subtle tension and Angela's unrequited love for Jordan Catalano compare to Louis Vuitton bags, pedicure appointments, and California-blonde highlights partying at Les Deux?

What ever happened to teenage angst anyway.

Haute List this week

ent058

American WAGs

PRO PUNTERS ARE THE NEW 'IT' ACCESSORY

By DANICA LO

January 11, 2008 -- THE hottest celebrity arm candy this season isn't a Birkin or the latest Louis bag. It's a hulking, sweaty, diesel, grease-painted beefcake with abs of steel - aka a pro football player.

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen nabbed Tom Brady from right under Bridget Moynahan's nose, Jessica Simpson's got the entire NFL in a tizzy over her appearances at boyfriend Tony Romo's games, and sex bomb Kim Kardashian's on-or-not engagement to Reggie Bush has tabloid tongues a-wagging. And while the entertainment and athletic worlds have always had their romantic dalliances - think Elizabeth Taylor and Glenn Davis, Jane Russell and Bob Waterfield - it's only now that footballers are really having their day in the sun.

The allure of the pigskin is firmly rooted in American mythology.

"In college, athletes are viewed as the campus gods," says Staci Robinson, author of "Inter-ceptions," a largely autobiographical account of her experiences as the fiancée of an LA Rams player. "When they get into the NFL, the whole college fame is catapulted into American society and they're idolized like crazy."

And the women in their lives are getting ample playtime, too.

"When you're attached to a football player, married to one, engaged to one, you have a different kind of lifestyle," Robinson says. "There are lots of perks that go along with it."

So much so, in fact, that the British term WAGs, an acronym for "wives and girlfriends [of ballers]" was officially added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2007.

TV producers have also taken notice - hugely successful shows such as "Friday Night Lights," "Two-A-Days" and "The Game" hinge entire story lines on the romantic lives of players.

"America is fascinated by this," says Mara Brock Atil, the executive producer of CW11's "The Game." "Everybody loves sports, and I was always fascinated when the cameras pan to a player's significant other - seeing her helps to further define who that player is. Who are these women?"

These ladies might be from different walks of life, but they're brought together in the stadiums.

"We're forced to make friends with other wives and girlfriends," says Robinson. "And in the stands, you watch the game and you talk. All the women sit in the same area, so if you're a rookie's girlfriend, they'll tell you who's who, who the groupies are - they hang out together - who's cheating, how many girls a player down there has up here in the stands. Sometimes one guy may have two - you just watch and see who claps when he makes a play.

"The girlfriends and wives will wear heels, head-to-toe Gucci or Chanel, and full makeup," Robinson says. Then again, "these are women who wear heels every day."

Not all WAGs are created equal; there's a definite hierarchy.

It's rumored that there are sorority-like social and support groups for the women. This comes complete with custom-published magazines filled with tips on how to deal with boyfriend problems - especially groupies.

"When I was doing research for my role, I talked to a lot of football players," says Tia Mowry, who stars as a jilted ex-girlfriend in "The Game."

"My cousin plays for the Houston Texans, and he told me they have classes they go to when they're rookies on how to deal with the women in their lives - telling them to be careful."

According to several sources we spoke to, it's common practice for groupies to salvage the contents of used condoms for DIY insemination.

"One guy, who played for the Chargers, walked into the bathroom and caught the girl doing it," Robinson says.
"She had a turkey baster in her purse."

And even marriage doesn't squelch the cutthroat nature of dating in the NFL.

"I knew a football player who was married to a woman who was absolutely gorgeous," Mowry says. "He found out she was cheating on him with a higher-profile celebrity football player and had just used him to get into the scene."

That's not to say that all WAGs are playing the game.

And, to be sure, there are still plenty of good fish on the field.

"Football guys are very disciplined and very goal-oriented. They give up a lot and put loads of commitment into it," says 25-year-old Kristin, who has been dating her NFL boyfriend since college. "The worst is when they let the fact that they play football get to their heads."

dlo@nypost.com

Miracle Miley

By DANICA LO

January 10, 2008 -- LINDSAY, Paris, Jessica, Nicole? Ancient history. Never before has the fashion industry encountered a force like Miley Cyrus.

In the year and a half since her show, “Hannah Montana," debuted on the Disney Channel, the wee 15-year-old starlet has redefined the power of product placement as we know it, single-handedly moving millions of dollars in clothes and accessories as her fans - ages 6 to 60 - clamor to look, dress and act like their favorite teen idol.

Miley's golden touch has even created new fashion stars.

“We've been getting a huge volume of calls from across the country and A-list boutiques," says designer Nuj Novakhett, who created the stunning strapless red dress Miley wore to the American Music Awards.

And though the $500 strapless number (far left) has yet to hit selling floors, it's nearly sold out in pre-orders alone: “It's been crazy," says Jennifer Cohen, co-owner of Beverly Hills boutique Switch. “We have a waiting list of at least 20 names" - something almost unheard of in the world outside of luxe European fashion.

“We were one of the first to put her on our cover last April," says CosmoGIRL! editor-in-chief Susan Schulz. “When so many young celebs were spiralling downward, here came Miley. She's the antithesis to what so many Hollywood stars are today and the answer to so many teenagers who are looking for a role model."

Teens still can't get enough of her girl-next-door wholesomeness, says Teen magazine's entertainment editor Kelly Bryant. “Our readers are demanding more and more Miley," she says. “They want to know everything they can possibly know about her. They want to be like her."

And parents? “We don't get much feedback from parents about Miley Cyrus," Bryant says. “But maybe that's more telling - the fact that we don't get calls from parents about her."

A teen idol the parents can get onboard with is a recipe for success - in retail, that is.

“Miley has a cool, girl-next-door appeal that makes kids want to be her while still being parent-approved," says Justin Watson of Mighty Fine clothing. The singer/actress was spotted in Mighty Fine's Madeline T-shirt ($25) at a recent concert stop and, “We definitely saw a spike in sales," Watson says.

Even fake hair flies out of stores. “Nobody can really understand what's really going on with this," says Kelly Cutrone, founder of p.r. firm People's Revolution and mom of a 5-year-old. “Miley Cyrus goes beyond a teen-tween market. My daughter made me take her to Libby Lu, where they sell Miley hair - for $25, you get this hair extension thing to plop on your head."

Miley's secret style weapon just might be her army of stylists - LA stylist Nicole Chavez picked out the Novakhett dress and stylist-to-the-stars Zoe Joeright styled the “Miley" side of Cyrus' double-sided album cover. Joeright also picks out clothes for her personal life.

“She has a really playful fashion sense," says Joeright. “We try to avoid putting her in too much black, because she's young. She loves pink a lot, though she's not so girly as to wear pink all the time, and she loves metallics."

And though Miley may be rocking some $300 jeans, oftentimes, her looks are a result of mixing and matching different price points. You can find some of her looks at Target, but for all her down-to-earth appeal, Miley is a star. “I don't let price dictate what I pull for her," Joeright says “but we definitely spend a little more on shoes."

dlo@nypost.com

Dessert, before and after

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Sign at Subway

Sandwich artist?
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NY Mag's crime map

I've always imagined that, when walking under scaffolding, someone would push me into the scaffolding and steal my bag. Yes, I'm a worst-case scenario kind of person. But look, it happened to a woman on 9th Street and 5th Ave -- "December 9: At 4 p.m., a 24-year old man pushed a woman headfirst into scaffolding and took her purse before being tackled and captured by two bystanders."

Some other gems from New York Mag's round-up of 2007 crime in the city:
- "Assault, 54th Street at Fifth Ave., August 27: A man upset that a 61-year old's transaction at the NBA store was taking too long stabbed him in the head with a pen."
- "Grand Larceny, Fifth ave near 55th Street, May 25 - August 29: A 38-year old Citigroup mailroom employee charged $50,000 in toner cartridges to the company, then resold them himself for $14,500."
- "Assault, 83rd Street at Columbus Ave., March 27: A 47-year old man yelling "I'm an American, I'm going to kick your ass" choked and punched a cabdriver after finding that the cab's credit-card-payment machine didn't take his card."

Riiiiiiight

You know how guys all claim they have really straightforward needs and all they want is a pretty girl who's nice to them?

Well, that's not true.


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Having it all

So I don't think that Cashmere Mafia was half as bad as everyone made it out to be. While it's true that when I was a teenager and early-20s-er, I was handfed a steady diet of Sex and the City didactism, and maybe the reason I liked CM was because it looks, sounds, and feels a whole lot like SatC, I'm not convinced that all the railing on about how the messages CM sends about women in New York not being able to "have it all" makes it unlikable.

Maybe I'm just cynical. I mean, while a handful of my New York friends have gotten married, thrived in their high-powered careers, and maybe a couple of them have had kids, the vast majority of working, career-minded young women I know are under 32 and either divorced, divorcing, or single and dating.

I've always thought that it takes a certain type of person to voluntarily live in New York as an adult. (To be honest, since I grew up here, I've always wanted to not live here as an adult, and one day, when the exchange rate gets better, I'll probably move back to England.) That person is probably driven, success-oriented, a self-starter, fiercely independent, ever-so-slightly (or a lot) egotistical, and yet content (thrilled, even) to sacrifice basic elements of quality of life and live in a small box stacked high in the polluted sky with all the other small boxes filled with type-a personalities.

What ever led any of us to believe that in a city filled with every-man-woman-for-him-herselves, we'd ever find happiness with each other?

(Also, have you ever noticed that New Yorkers are pretty lonely people? I hate that about New York sometimes. There are some amazing people out there. I've met them. But sometimes this city feels like a buffet trough of pigs in a blanket -- we're all so wrapped up in our loneliness we can't get past ourselves. This all applies to me too.)


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At the Olive Garden

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"Observe Everything. Always think for yourself. Never let other people make important decisions for you." — from Bad News by Edward St. Aubyn