April 08, 2009


So I had lunch with my college friend Jen and my co-worker Max today. We all went to school together, oh, ten-ish years ago, so it was nice to catch up. The topic of dating came up and Max offered to set me up with his friends.

"I know guys." -- those were his exact words.

At first, I was like, no way. But now that I think about it, Sure! Yes way!

See, when I was in San Francisco (for, like, a whole 36 hours, I know), I got to catch up with two friends from high school -- Kelly and Paul. I hadn't seen either one of them since we were all about 17 -- 15 years ago! Seriously, the last time we saw each other, none of us could legally drink or vote. Now we're all leathery weathered 30-somethings... Anyway, the thing with seeing people from your adolescence is that it's like no time has passed. 15 years could have been 15 minutes -- even if we can't talk about daily life and bitch about work stuff, the comfort level is unbelievable. We all know each others' parents, where we all came from, and -- I think this is the most important part -- we all saw each other at our awkwardest worsts. These people I grew up with are my people, we have everything in common (also nothing in common, so complex, no?). So I went to see Kelly and Paul at their mutual friend's birthday drinks -- I didn't know the birthday guy, but he is really close friends with both K&P. And here's what really threw me -- I thought this birthday guy was really cute, or really attractive. Or something, I don't know. Something just seemed right. I mean, I talked to him for a total of twelve seconds, so whatever, maybe this is crazy, but that's what my intuition said.

Ok, more. Last year, Annie, one of my good friends, told me how odd it was that her best friend was dating a new guy who, on paper -- interests-wise, habits-wise, blah blah blah -- was just like Annie. That got me thinking that maybe going about looking for a guy who's like me is the wrong way to go about things -- maybe we all ought to be dating guys who are more similar to our closest friends. I mean, those are the people we get along with the best and love the dearest, right?

Full circle: So I have this idea that maybe the people who know me the best, like at the core (not all the superficial what-do-you-do slash where-do-you-work slash what-are-you-wearing grown-up stuff), are people who I shared some sort of growing-up experience, some coming-of-age (college) experience with. And maybe their close friends are the people I should be meeting.

I know it sounds sooo 'master of the obvious-y' but it's taken me 31 years to come up with this... please humor me.