April 11, 2009


When I first moved back to New York from London, where I had three housemates, it was really brutal. I had a really difficult adjustment period, and a really hard time being alone and living alone. But then I got used to it, and began to prefer the solitude, especially since my job is super-social. Now, I go through waves. If I start going out a lot, making plans, being around friends all the time, I start to crave that in a consistent way. That's where I am right now -- it's almost a social frenzy, a people high. But if I calm down and savor the time alone, I can, after a few days, become almost reclusive. What's really hard about this sine-curve social-mood thing is that still, after five years back, my best friends are still the ones who live at least 4000 miles away. So even though, like, right now, I want to have people over to hang out, bum around and watch a thousand episodes of Skins with me, I don't know if that's what I really really really want, you know? Maybe I just miss the kinship, the consistent support network.