In this day and age of bank collapse and panic runs, customers queuing up en masse to close their accounts, you'd think the last thing a bank would want to do is torture the existing client base. Well, not HSBC, whose internet fraud division sent me an email and left me voicemails in the middle of the night to call them. So now I call them. I've been on hold for FORTY minutes calling the States (really though come on we all know I am not talking to someone in the United States). This better be good.