April 19, 2007

Naughty Brits

Picture 19

April 19, 2007 -- In their native Britain, they're known as "the celebrities taste forgot" - but in Los Angeles, they'll fit right in.

Meet the U.K.'s two most notorious celebrity couples, the Beckhams and the Andres - bleach blonde, tan-tastic and surgically enhanced. And we're not just talking about the ladies.

While the Beckhams may be more internationally known - once upon a time Victoria was better known as Posh Spice and David "Goldenballs" just signed a $250 million deal with the L.A. Galaxy soccer team - the Andres are just as beloved in their homeland for being shameless.

The first season of Katie Price (a k a huge-chested glamour model Jordan) and '90s pop star Peter Andre's reality show, "Katie & Peter," premieres this Saturday on E!, months before the Beckham's NBC deal hits the small screen. A primer:

Katie Price (Jordan) & Peter Andre vs. Victoria & David Beckham

Katie Price (Jordan) & Peter Andre

Nicknames: Dosh & Pecs

Famous for: Huge tatas
Former pop star in Britain

Ages: 28 & 34

Kids: 3 (Harvey Daniel, Junior Savva and another on the way)

Net Worth: $60 million

Breasts: 34FF

Style: Stuffed into a boob tube; proudly gelled

Quotable: "Some people might be famous for creating a pencil sharpener. I'm famous for my tits." - Jordan

Literature: Memoirs "Being Jordan" and "A Whole New World," and "Katie's Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book" (October 2007)

Tribulations: Blind son; Jordan survived finger cancer discovered by manicurist

Famous friends: Hugh Hefner, Paris Hilton

American equivalent: Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee

Victoria & David Beckham

Nicknames: Posh & Becks

Famous for: Zigga-zig-ah
Bends it like Beckham

Ages: 33 & 31

Kids: 3 (Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz)

Net Worth: $400 million (incl. Galaxy deal)

Breasts: About 34B

Style: Stick insect; coyly metrosexual

Quotable: "My Spanish is improving and now I can ask: 'Dónde Gucci?' I also can say: 'Tienes un Bentley?' " - Victoria

Literature: Alleged illiteracy ("I've never read a book in my life") yet Victoria wrote a book on style called "That Extra Half an Inch"

Tribulations: David's girly voice

Famous friends: Tom & Katie, Elton & David, J.Lo & Marc

American equivalent: If Mariah Carey and Derek Jeter had stayed together